I forgot to set my alarm this morning but was woken up at 10 by someone knocking, not on my door, but on my window.  They left something on my door that I ignored.  Probably from the stupid ass church next door that doesn't realized people sleep in on the weekends.  Fuckers.  Not that it would've mattered, them waking me up I mean.  Not 5 minutes later I had a pain in my back.  For a split second I thought I slept wrong.  Then: "FUCK!  I know this pain."

I had another kidney stone.  This time it was on the right side.  I quickly showered and got dressed with shaky hands and drove to my parents.  I already had drugs from the last time so unless it got really bad I wasn't going to bother going to the hospital.  That's also the reason I drove the parents.  If the pain got bad enough, I wouldn't be able to drive.  So, I doped myself up with 2 percocet.  Helped for all of 10 minutes before the pain started coming back (not that it ever completely went away) so I took another one.  Just in time too because that's when the pain got the worst.  Thankfully, it kicked in about 15 minutes later and I stopped feeling like I wanted to die.  I was pretty high at this point and basically fell asleep.  My pupils were friggin' pinholes.  I slept for a few hours and now I just feel drained.  But, pain free.  I passed the stone before I fell asleep.

That was basically my lovely Saturday.  Two kidney stones in under 3 months sucks BALLS.

She should've known better, really. All of her life's experiences certainly taught her better. She'd known for a while now that she wasn't ruled by her heart. It was a useless tool that brought nothing but pain and confusion. No, she thought things out. She organized and categorized and prepared - prepared for the worst most days. Doing these things kept her safe. Mostly it just kept her alone. She could look at others and envy and be bitter and hate but she also knew it wasn't their fault. It used to be before she made it hers. Somehow, that was easier to deal with. If it was her fault then she at least could know why. That always bothered her in the past; not knowing why. They never left a reason so she created one herself.

Yeah, it was all her fault.

Her head told her his smile was as real as a unicorn shooting candy out its ass, a thought that made her giggle, which he misinterpreted as interest in his game. She should've have put an end to it then and there, but the useless tool in her chest had cried the night before and she was feeling weak and lonely. He talked, she smiled, and somewhere down the line she knew she'd regret this. She had a lot of regrets.

What was one more?